Thursday, September 12, 2013

Not ready for the big stuff...

Tucker's Kindergarten class room is right across the hall from my class room.  His class eats lunch at 12 so I always walk over really quickly just to tell him hi and give him a big squeeze. 
{He said he doesn't care if his friends see me give him a bunch of kisses.}

On Wednesday, I walked into the class room {where they eat lunch} and I noticed that he was sitting by himself. All of the boys sat at a table close by and he was at the girls' table but he was sitting about 2 or 3 chairs away from everyone.
Seeing my sweet little blonde headed baby sitting there, appearing to be a mile away from everyone else, broke my heart.
I whispered to him and asked him if he wanted to scoot down to sit closer to his friends.  He shook his head and said, "No."  I said, "Who do you want to sit next to?" He looked at me and said, "I'm sitting next to you."  But, I could only stay for a second. {I wanted to tell him to pick up his lunch and come eat in my classroom.} I looked around the room trying to find a way to solve our problem and was left with no great ideas. I finally whispered, "I have to leave and I don't want you to sit here by yourself, so will you scoot down to sit by your friend?"  He did.  I kissed him and left.

I know I'm pregnant and little things seem so big. 
I also know I can't always be there to make sure he doesn't feel or appear to be left out.  But that's not comforting.  And for that very reason, I went straight to my classroom, picked up my phone, and with teary eyes I text my husband to tell him about my heartache.  

That's all.  I haven't figured this out yet.  I haven't figured out how to let him do things like, sit alone.


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