Little House on the Right

Some times I feel guilty for being loved by someone who is, for the most part, absolutely perfect.  

He says he loves me the most.

He looks at me like he's holding on to me.

He says I'm the best mommy ever. 

Sometimes he doesn't know the words to express how much he loves me so he'll say something like, "I promise I'll never forget you." He really means it.

At night when he's laying in bed I'll ask him who he would like to pray for.  He usually says, "I don't know right now." I'll usually {expectantly} say, "Pray for the person you love the most!" And he'll say, "That's you!"  Then we smile. Then he prays for me.

I can't help but think that one day he'll figure it out. He'll realize how amazing he is and how not so amazing I am and he'll feel jipped. But, more-than-likely, in his amazing-ness he'll keep on loving me the most.

I feel that way about my savior too. He says the same things to me and about me.  He fights for me and with me but mostly for me. He observes me very closely and He says, "I promise I'll never forget you." He really means it.

But, in my disbelief of the Perfect One's capability to love the imperfect, I sometimes think that he'll figure it out.  He'll realize how infinitely amazing he is and in his observation of me he'll stop smiling and he'll suddenly see something that he never saw before, and he'll feel jipped. He'll shake his head and decide it would be best to love me from a far.  He'll turn his head and walk away to somewhere far off and a little more sunny.

But this is what he says:

"I've searched you and I know you. I know your thoughts.  I even know your far off thoughts. I am familiar with all of your ways, your gestures, the things that you love, and the things that bother you.  I know that you chew your lip all the time.  You don't know why you do that, but I do. I even know what you're going to say before you say it.

I go before you and stand behind you and I keep my hand on you all at the same time. There is no where you can go to get away from me.  Even in your darkest moments, even in your most hateful moments, even in the moments you feel the most alone...my hand is still on you.  I'm not just there for the sunrise moments. I'm there for the pitch dark, scary night moments.

I created you.  I knit you together in your mother's womb. I knit your children in yours. I orchestrated all of your days before you were even born. The children that you think are too wonderful for you, I gave them to you.

I think about you so often that my thoughts about you out number the grains of sand that I put by the sea. I've searched your heart and I know you.  I still love you. I promise I'll never forget you."