There are days when I wake up 25 minutes late and wake up my grumpy kindergartner who went to bed 2 hours later than his bedtime. While the baby fusses, and the 2 year old makes a mess, I dig clothes out of the huge pile of laundry that's been sitting on my couch for 5 days.
Nobody wants to eat the waffle that just popped out of the toaster and my husband already left for work so I have no one to gripe at. As we walk out the door I yell, "stop arguing! I can't deal with that today!"
Today was that day. The afternoon didn't go any smoother. My coffee never kicked in and I never got any makeup on. My attitude was stinky and I was just happy to make it to bath time. Dinner was short and my temper was shorter. Today was the day I realized that I'm not the mom I always thought I would be.
These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. (1 Peter 1:7, 8 NLT)
When we're tested by trials, our heart is revealed. On days like today, I am forced to take a Grace filled inventory of my faith.
It's not about me.... That was my reminder today. These little people aren't on this earth to make my life easier or make me a happier person. They are here to fulfill a calling that will grow God's kingdom. It's my job to listen for creative ways to nurture their callings and pray for their callings to be revealed to them early on. It sounds beautiful but it's not easy.
Tomorrow, I'll remind myself to slow down. I'll pray. I'll listen. I'll open my Bible (app) and digest the words of my powerful Father who has all of the answers. Tomorrow, when the wind brushes my cheek, I won't complain that it's messing up my hair.