296. Peaceful time to write, read, and sit in the sunshine on a train

Eph 5:24 "Now as the church submits to Christ so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."

The sun was rising to the east of us, casting it's golden light on the top of his blonde head.  His long black eye-lashes were tugging at his eye-lids, pulling them softly closed.  I looked out the window and watched green fields roll by.  


The rumbling vibrations of the train had called him to sleep.  I didn't bring a blanket  so I pulled my red t-shirt out of my bag and covered him with it.  I pulled his chubby feet onto my leg and lifted my book back to my eyes.

I spent the remainder of eastward-sun-glare reading;  I took pictures of my sleeping bundle; I ate a banana; made mental notes of thankfulness for the quiet, the sunshine giving color and light, and time to write words on paper.  I thought how funny it was that I'd tried to bring enough toys and plan enough activities for him so our 7 hour train ride wouldn't be too grueling. And here, with the sun above us now, he still slept.

Just a little more than a night's sleep before, I snapped at Ryan, telling my husband to stop playing with our first born and let him lay down so he could go to sleep.  He just smiled at me and they wrestled and laughed a while longer.  Tucker would run toward Ryan, squealing and punching, and just before he'd reach his daddy, Ryan would pick him up high above his head and toss him on the bed.  

I had laid on the other side of the bed with my lips pursed, making comments about dealing with a grumpy 3 year old on a 7 hour train trip.  But, there I was, 4 hours in, and the only noises in the train car were the train beating against the rails and an older woman whispering to herself as she stared out her window.

Sitting on the train, heading miles away from my husband, I knew I should have just smiled and let them play.  Ryan is a admirable daddy.  I wish I would've had one like him.  Tucker needed that time with Ryan and his daddy made sure he got it.  I only wish I hadn't waited until after the laughter, sitting in the peaceful stillness of sunshine and rolling greens, to think about what was more important in the silly moments of pajamas.