The Lord is stretching me. He is guiding me with his eye and sweetly showing me the parts of my heart that aren't pleasing to him. He's pulling me far outside of my comfort zones.
Do you know why they're called comfort zones? Because, their so comfy! They feel good.
My favorite comfort zone is being the funny, friendly, upbeat girl. That girl is fun. She's not needy or emotional and no one expects her to go too deep or talk about heart issues. She won't burden you with lengthy prayer requests and she'll never ask for help. Being the funny girl means that I get to keep things light. What is gained is that I don't have to show anyone the parts of me that I don't like; just a big smile. What is lost is meaningful relationships. I always seem to be just outside of those.
Jesus says, "Crissy, I made you and you are so funny. But, I want to show you the deeper layers. There's more to you. There's really great things under there."
One time, I was trying to convince my oldest, most cautious, child to touch a snake at the museum. He was really uncomfortable with that. But, after lots of persuasion, he finally did and he liked it. Now, he picks up all kinds of critters out in the back yard. I could live without that but you get my point.
I have anxiety about being poor. I also REALLY don't like to be told what to do. At.all. Another thing.... I'm outgoing and everything, but I truly like to be alone. As in, left alone. As in, "I can do it myself" kind of attitude.
Just typing all of this is uncomfortable for me. If I actually succeed in clicking on that little orange button that says, "publish" I'll be seriously uncomfortable.
Today, I was reading a devotional. The words struck so deeply in to the hard parts of my heart. I have not stopped thinking about them all day.
Jesus has made me so aware of the things that I worry about verses things that matter; the things that I'm comfortable with verses the things that he wants me to be comfortable with.
If I stay in my comfort zones, I can't be obedient.
If I keep my walls up he can't tear any down.
Here's what the Lord says I should do to get out of my comfort zones. He says if I take these steps he can start tearing down walls.
"This is the kind of fasting that I want:
Free those who are wrongly imprisoned;
lighten the burden of those who work for you.
Let the oppressed go free,
and remove the chains that bind people.
Share your food with the hungry,
and give shelter to the homeless.
Give clothes to those who need them,
and do not hide from relatives who need your help.
“Then your salvation will come like the dawn, and your wounds will quickly heal. Your godliness will lead you forward, and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind. Then when you call, the Lord will answer, ‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply. “Remove the heavy yoke of oppression and stop your malicious talk! Isaiah 58:5-9