Dear husbands,

Dear husbands,

Most little girls at some point in their life {most likely after watching Steel Magnolias for the first time} will find them selves laying on the floor of their bedroom, with their chin in their hands, dreaming about their wedding.  I did.

I dreamed about a candlelit ceremony at Christmas time.  In my dream, my bride's maids wore red taffeta dresses.  I wore an ivory dress with a white fur shawl {to represent snow on my shoulders}.  My shoes and lipstick were also red.  My hair would be pulled back in a really curly up-do. I would wear diamonds on my ears and a gold/diamond tennis bracelet my groom had delivered to me (along with dozens of roses and balloons) just before the ceremony.  My groom and his groom's men would wear black tuxedos with red bow ties. I could never decide on comber-buns or vests..... I won't bore you with all of the details but you get the idea.

After the honey-moon I would return to some fabulous job wear everyone thought I was the funniest, prettiest, and smartest person they knew {trend in all my life fantasies, by the way}. My husband and I spent as much time together as we could.  We had romantic picnic lunches and we would throw parties at our ridiculously cute house and all of our friends would come and say it was "the best party they'd ever been to".

Most little girls think about these things. But none of us ever spent hours day-dreaming about the kind of women our husbands would look at when we weren't looking or talk to with a lustful heart.

In real life, my husband and I have both been unfaithful to each other. Not in the "gotcha on a technicality" way, but in the seriously "guilty of adultery" way.  I can tell you that on both sides of the spectrum, being cheated on and doing the cheating, HURTS.  It changes the way you see people.  It changes the way you think people see you.  The color of day time seems different and dingier.  Night time becomes neon and loud.  The line between love and hate and truth and lies becomes blurry, slobbery, yellowed, and tarnished.  Puffy eyes and turning stomach become a familiar friend and decency becomes something you'd rather spit at than acquire.

Jesus said, "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Matt 5:28

Sin isn't a list of rules that God gives us because he wants us to prove ourselves.  It wasn't until my husband and I walked through darkness that I realized sin is something that hurts our hearts.  Sin puts it's fist down our throats, grabs hold of our guts and turns us inside out.  Then, takes it's oozing, bloody hand and smears guilt all over our faces.  

Jesus gently puts his wounded hand on your heart.  He looks lovingly into your eyes and with his other hand he cleans the guilt off your face.  Jesus speaks and heals the hurt that sin leaves behind.  All you have to do is put sin behind you and keep your eyes on His.

I used to say, "I don't care what he does as long as he comes home to me."  If I'd said that one more time I probably would have developed a facial tick.  I was lying through my scared teeth.

The world (your friends and her friends) tells your wife "don't ask questions it's really none of your business", "don't be possessive", and basically "just be cool."  That's why I acted like I didn't care.  I was supposed to believe that I didn't deserve a husband who loves only me.   I was supposed to settle.  I was supposed to believe I wasn't good enough.  

Eph 5:25 "For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her..."

If your eyes are on other women and your wife says she doesn't care, she has settled for you and she doesn't think she deserves better.  Be the man that raises her standards.  Ask God what that looks like for you.  I pray that God answers your prayer swiftly and with wisdom and revelation.  I pray you have ears to hear and eyes to see and that His words fall softly and sweetly on your heart.

CLICK HERE TO READ "Dear Wives"

Dear God, mess things up!

This was a hot day in Texas.

There's usually nothing I like more than a hot day in Texas, but today was hot.  Stinkin hot! Seriously.

It was so hot that your eyebrows were attacked by the sweat from your forehead the moment you stepped outside.

My car felt like it had been pre-heated to 375 degrees and was ready to bake me.

There's a melted passie on my driveway.  I'll take a picture of it tomorrow. 
(And then I might think about picking it up or I may walk past it a few more times.)


One of our nieces hung out with me today. She and I were sweating as we loaded up my car with little boys.  When we were pulling out of my driveway {sweating} she noticed my neighbor's sprinkler was on.  She kinda groaned and said, "Man, I wanna run through that sprinkler right now."  She was wiggling her legs as if she was ready to take off.  I thought to myself, "She probably would."

I'm a preacher.

I was standing in the glow of purple and yellow neon and leaning against a stop light.  The sounds of music, people, cars and horse drawn carriages all muddled past me.  I was standing in a place I'd stood hundreds of times but this time I felt like a foreigner.  I looked around and wondered if anyone noticed me then looked down at my feet hoping they didn't.  The sounds of my anxiety escaped my lips in the form of laughter.

Trying to be noticed is exhausting work; a trick I play on myself that makes me feel important.  But getting Him, the Christ, getting Him noticed is a disturbing and frightening assignment of which I didn't think I was worthy.  

Acts 19:18-20

At first I thought that standing there on the sidewalk passing out gospel tracks was an assignment for me to shed more scales.  Just the next step in making nothing off limits to Him.  But actually, it was an assignment to show others how to shed their own scales.  

These scales of mine; they dry and I scratch at them.  They flake off and I watch them float through the air and fall on the floor and I shuffle threw them as I walk through my day.  Sometimes I kick them up in a big cloud and watch them fall back to the ground feeling relief from the weight of them.

But, It's not about MY scales.

 Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."  (Matthew 9:27)


If I preach about The One who cleanses me, He becomes more powerful and more people will hear about the Shedder of scales.  Then their scales will fall to the ground and we can all dance in the dust of the enemy. 

God created the universe with a Word.  Jesus is the Word.  The only tangible thing that He left behind of Himself is a giant book of Words.  Faith comes by hearing...obviously, words are really important to my Father.  I have to talk about Him.  I have to open my mouth and speak.  

I am not a walking Bible.  I am a walking worker.  I am a preacher. 
"How, then, can they call on the one the have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom the have not heard? How can they hear without someone preaching to them?" Romans 10:14

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.  (John 1:14)